Facing Truth

The Mirror by Frank Dicksee

Life is messy. When we are willing to get our hands dirty then we begin to become true vessels of God. The willingness of our hearts to get messy is to start to walk out what it means to become the hands and feet of Christ. But messy isn’t just a physical posture. It is the willingness to come face to face with our messy emotional state so that healing can come. Weeds must be pulled up from the deep dark soil of our hearts and expose what remains to the light.

Messy is not often in a literal sense. Often it is in the trudging through truth and being willing to own our part in it. Sometimes the pain of that truth burns us like a cattle brand. But once we own truth it becomes our key to freedom and hope.

Our humility honors God.

God honors our humility. Often our physical posture mirrors our mental posture. Our hearts are not perfect but there is still goodness in them because of the works of Jesus. Our hearts are like a musical instrument. We can tune them and get them just right. Yet if we hang our instrument on the wall or tuck it away in the corner it gathers dust and will quickly get out of tune. To be in tune with our hearts we must do hard work. I am not just saying this to you but instead shouting it out loud for my heart to hear. As I was leafing through one of my journals I found a quote I had written down but I don’t know who said it. I imagine it was a speaker I was listening to or podcast.

“It is what we do in our secret place that reveals our hearts. Life flows out of our secret life. This secret life will define our lives.”

This is a strong truth. I speak often of integrity to my sons. We talk about how what they do when no one is watching is what measures integrity. We are all broken and fallible and fall short daily. Mistakes and failures are the blueprints to life. They show us what not to do and how not to proceed. They prompt us to try a new path or direction. But we have to face those mistakes and failures and feel the burn of that truth to choose a new direction that leads to hope and success. In facing my truth and choosing to face the mess of my emotional state it has opened the door for healing. I have still have miles to go before I sleep. The last four years of my life have carried a lot of pain and deep grief. I have felt the burn of that cattle brand more than I care to mention. I am certain under the light of the Father there are many words branded on my skin. I do know that God can bring redemption to every one of those words and give back what the locusts have eaten. I want to be the hands and feet of Christ to my children so as a momma I am more than willing to face the fire. I want to do the hard work it takes to pull the weeds from the deep soil of my heart and expose the rest of me to the Light. I want to do the hard and holy things even though I fear what they may require of me to walk them out. I often doubt my ability to stay the course. You know why? Because I think about “my’ ability. I tend to rely on my own independence instead of becoming fully dependent on Christ. I cannot do anything in my strength. I cannot stay the course without him. I forget that often. But God always allows me to be awakened to my lack and his abundance. His abundance is where forgiveness and love abide and true joy resides.

“Sometimes the greatest miracle is being able to face exactly where you’re at and say: This is where I am, no running, no hiding. There’s gold for me here, and I intend to find it, no matter what.” – unknown.

Owning our stuff is hard but goodness when you choose to be brave you get to exhale freedom. Look for the gold right where you are. There is a good chance you will find it in the mirror looking back at you.

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